


Alien Pooping Boy

by stace8383



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:35:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27665494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stace8383/pseuds/stace8383
Summary: I present my version of Beckett Fowl's favourite chapter book, Alien Pooping Boy, as mentioned in The Fowl Twins Deny All Charges.
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter One

There was a flash of light in the sandpit, a glowing purple dot which rapidly doubled, trebled, quadrupled in size. It was so bright that the two kids making sandcastles - and knocking them down again with gusto - had to shield their eyes. It was in this moment, while neither of them were looking, that a boy emerged from the sphere of light and tumbled into the sand. With a loud pop, the light vanished, leaving the boy shaking sand from his ears and nostrils.

‘Where’d you come from?’ asked Benny, sandcastles forgotten. He’d knocked his glasses crooked, and his red hair stuck up in all directions. 

‘Mars,’ said the newcomer. ‘Where am I now?’ He had a slight greenish tinge to his skin and hair, and when he stood up, he was about up to Benny’s shoulder. 

‘Mars?’ blonde-haired Alice repeated doubtfully. ‘There aren’t people on Mars.’ 

‘Of course not; there are  _ Martians _ on Mars!’ the boy said. Alice supposed that made sense. 

‘Well,’ she continued, ‘You’re on Earth. That’s the planet next to Mars.’

‘What’s your name?’ Benny asked. ‘Is it something weird and Martian, like Fleebleblop?’

‘It  _ is _ Fleebleblop!’ the boy said. ‘How did you know?’ He finished getting sand out of his clothes, hair, and mouth, and started shaking one hand vigorously. 

‘We should tell the teachers that a boy from Mars appeared in the sandpit,’ said Alice. 

‘What’s a teacher?’ 

‘They’re the adults who teach us and look after us at school.’

‘What’s school?’

‘It’s the place we go so that adults can teach us and look after us.’ 

Fleebleblop nodded and looked around. ‘School is sandy,’ he noted. He hopped out of the sandpit, onto the grass. ‘But now I’m not there, so I don’t need to worry about your beaches!’

‘Teachers,’ Alice corrected him.

‘Anyway, school isn’t just the sandpit,’ Benny said. He pointed out the buildings, the monkey bars, and the carpark. ‘It’s all this.’

Fleebleblop pointed a finger into the distance, and Benny was about to tell him that what he was pointing at wasn’t part of the school. It was a vegan pie shop. He wondered if they had vegan pies on Mars. But before he could speak, the alien boy’s fingertip opened up and something brown oozed out and fell to the ground. ‘Sorry,’ Fleebleblop said. ‘Teleporting makes me nervous, and then I just have to poop!’ 

Alice and Benny stared at him wordlessly. 

‘That’s  _ poop _ ?’ Alice asked after a few seconds. ‘From your  _ finger _ ?’

Fleebleblop blinked. ‘Where else would it come from?’ 

And Alice found herself, for once, lost for words. 


	2. Chapter Two

The bell rang, calling the students back into class. Benny began to run immediately, by habit, but Alice grabbed him by the hair, nearly pulling him over backwards onto his bottom. ‘We can’t just leave… Fleebleblop…’ she said. ‘What’s a Martian kid going to do alone on earth?’ 

‘Poop through his finger?’ Benny suggested. 

‘I already did that,’ Fleebleblop pointed out. 

‘I poop lots of times a day,’ Benny said proudly. ‘Don’t you?’ 

Fleebleblop admitted that he did, especially when he’d eaten too many bumbleberries. 

‘We don’t have time for this, we have to get back to class!’ Alice insisted. ‘We need to make a quick decision!’

‘I’ll come with you,’ Fleebleblop decided. By this time the playground was nearly empty, and their teacher would miss them shortly if they didn’t turn up in class. Alice didn’t see another option. They couldn’t let an alien kid wander around on his own; anything might happen. 

‘Okay,’ she said, ‘but don’t say anything. Just try to look normal.’ 

‘And no finger-pooping in class,’ Benny added. 

‘What about nose pooping?’

Alice and Benny stared at him, horrified. 

‘Just kidding! Only people with Martian weevilplops do that, and I’m perfectly healthy!’ 

The two earth kids both sagged with relief. They grabbed the Martian by his shirt and started dragging him towards their classroom. He ran awkwardly, as if he wasn’t used to moving that way. 

‘Hurry up!’ Alice yelled. 

‘Can’t I cartwheel instead?’ 

‘Will it be faster?’

‘Yes.’

Alice and Benny let go of him, and true to his word, he cartwheeled and tumbled at high speed across the schoolyard. 

‘This isn’t exactly  _ looking normal _ ,’ Benny muttered. But nobody was around to see, and Fleebleblop was walking upright again by the time they reached the door to their classroom. 

To Alice’s immense relief, their teacher Mrs Baker had her back turned and was writing on the whiteboard as they came in. She didn’t notice that an extra child had turned up in her class. She was slightly blind and a little bit forgetful, but she could still count. They sat towards the back of the room and made hushing motions at the alien. 

‘So what do we do in a classroom?’ Fleebleblop asked, not bothering to keep his voice down. Perhaps the gesture for “shush” was something different on Mars. 

Mrs Baker turned around and squinted at the rows of children. ‘We do as we are told,’ she said firmly. Several children sniggered.

Alice whispered to the alien boy, glaring at a couple of other kids who turned around to stare. ‘Just keep quiet and still,’ she said. 

Fleebleblop frowned. ‘I am not good at quiet and still,’ he said, although he did speak a little more quietly than before. Not much, though. 

‘Mrs Baker,’ another kid piped up, ‘there’s some weirdo in the back row. He doesn’t even go here.’ 

Alice and Benny froze, as all heads turned directly to Fleebleblop. 


	3. Chapter Three

It took a few seconds of squinting, but finally Mrs Baker saw the strange boy sitting between Benny and Alice. ‘Who might you be?’ she asked. 

‘He’s my cousin,’ Alice blurted quickly. ‘His name’s Fred,’ she added, at the exact same moment that Benny said ‘His name’s Bob.’ 

Mrs Baker raised an eyebrow. ‘Does Fred-Bob have permission to be in my class?’

‘Fleebleblop,’ Fleebleblob corrected her. ‘Although Fred-Bob is a good first try, well done!’

Most of the class giggled. Mrs Baker did not. Her frown intensified. 

‘I’m from Mars,’ the boy continued. ‘What’s a cousin? Is something wrong with your eyebrows? One’s up and one’s down.’ He waggled his own eyebrows to demonstrate that his could be either both up or both down. By this time the giggling among the students had progressed to full laughter. 

Alice tugged desperately at Fleebleblop’s arm. ‘Just be quiet,’ she pleaded. Benny was too horrified to speak at all. ‘You’ll get us in trouble!’

Fleebleblop turned to her, returning his eyebrows to normal. ‘Where’s that?’ 

‘What?’

‘Trouble. I promise I won’t take you there; my teleporter is still recharging.’ 

‘It’s the principal’s office,’ Alice said miserably. 

‘Uh-oh,’ said Fleebleblop. He still didn’t know what she meant, but her tone and face made it clear it was nothing good. ‘Now I’m nervous.’ He glanced at his finger.

‘Oh no, Fleebleblop, not here!’ Benny yelled, seeing the alien boy’s finger stiffen to a point. ‘Not in class!’

But he was too late. The nervous alien was already pooping from his finger. At least he was pointing it downwards this time, but still, with the attention of the entire class and Mrs Baker on him, he couldn’t possibly hide it. 

Mrs Baker’s face turned red, then purple. She seemed lost for words for a moment, before finally managing to yell, ‘Principal’s office! Now!’ She didn’t specify who, but Benny stood alongside Alice and they both grabbed Fleebleblop and ran. 


	4. Chapter Four

In the corridor, out of earshot of Mrs Baker, they slowed down and stopped. 

‘I don’t think we should go to the principal’s office,’ Benny said. ‘How could we possibly explain?’ 

Alice tried to imagine Principal Cook’s face if she told him that an alien from Mars had pooped through his finger onto Mrs Baker’s classroom floor. ‘You’re right,’ she agreed. ‘But where else can we go?’

‘Where do you live?’ Fleebleblop asked. ‘In caves? Up trees? I want to see Earth homes.’ 

‘We could take him to my place,’ Alice said doubtfully. ‘Mum’s at work. You’d have to promise to poop in the toilet, though.’

‘What’s a toilet?’

‘It’s a special place for pooping.’

Fleebleblop was awed. ‘A special place, just for pooping? Like, a whole building?’

‘A sort of chair in a special room,’ Benny explained. ‘With water in it.’

‘A flooded room with a chair for pooping! That sounds amazing.’ 

‘The  _ chair _ has water, not the room,’ Alice told him. The notion seemed just as exciting to Fleebleblop. 

He nodded excitedly. ‘Take me to the pooping chair at your home.’ 

Now that the terrifying visage of Mrs Baker was several minutes in the past, Benny couldn’t hold in a laugh. It would be several months before he stopped calling toilets ‘pooping chairs’, and his parents never figured out why. 

Alice’s house was quite close to the school; she usually walked there alone each morning, and she had a key in case she needed to get home alone too. So it was simple enough to bring Benny and Fleebleblop along, hurrying them inside before the boy from Mars accidentally pooped through his finger again. His eyes widened at the sight of a television, microwave, books, and a stuffed elephant. But he couldn’t be distracted from the notion of a water-filled pooping chair, so Alice showed him straight to the toilet. 

‘Why a chair?’ he asked. 

Alice looked at Benny desperately. 

‘People from Earth poop through our butts,’ he explained, pointing at his own just to be extra clear. 

‘Ew!’ Fleebleblop exclaimed. 

‘Why, do you eat through yours or something?” Benny asked.

‘No! We just sit on it!’

The next few minutes were spent in enthusiastic verbal descriptions and comparisons of bottoms. Alice left the room in disgust, and the conversation which ensued is best left between the two boys. 


	5. Chapter Five

When the boys had exhausted the topic of bottoms and poop, at least for the moment (it’s a big topic and is always worth revisiting), they joined Alice in the kitchen. She was staring at the clock, trying to remember the difference between the big hand and the little hand.

‘I think,’ she said, ‘we’re going to be in trouble soon.’ 

‘Where is this Trouble place?’ Fleebleblop asked again, confused. 

Alice ignored him and continued. ‘Pretty soon, someone at school is going to notice we’re not there, and that we never went to Principal Cook’s office. And then they’ll call our mums.’ 

Benny paled. When his mum got going, even the neighbours cleaned their bedrooms. ‘What are we going to do?’

‘We need to decide what to do with Fleebleblop.’

‘Play a game with me?’ the alien suggested. 

‘You can’t just hang around Earth pooping through your finger forever,’ Alice said. 

‘You can’t make me not-poop!’

‘The poop isn’t the point.’ It was a little bit the point, but Alice felt it better to gloss over that. ‘If anyone finds out about you, they’ll put you in an orphanage or a zoo or something.’ 

Benny thought being put in a zoo sounded pretty neat, but he thought better of saying so out loud. He spent a moment imagining living in the penguin enclosure, before returning to the matter at hand. ‘Can’t you just go home?’ he asked Fleebleblop. 

Fleelbeblop pulled a face. ‘I suppose. When my teleporter recharges. It’s boring there, though.’ 

‘Boring is better than dangerous,’ Alice said firmly. ‘You don’t want to end up in the chimpanzee enclosure.’

‘No,’ Benny agreed. ‘Penguins would be loads better.’

Alice wisely ignored this. ‘So we need to keep you safe and hidden until your teleporter recharges. How long does it take?’

‘One or two Martian days. What’s a penguin?’

Two days?’ Benny repeated. ‘That’s ages. How do we keep an alien who poops through his finger hidden for two days?’ 

‘Penguins are a type of animal,’ Alice explained. ‘They’re birds.’ She stood a little taller, proud to recite an Interesting Fact: ‘They’re the only birds that can swim and can’t fly.’ 

‘And their poop really stinks!’ Benny added. His family had been to see the Penguin Parade last year. The smell was his clearest memory. 

‘But they’re really cute and curious and friendly,’ Alice defended the absent birds. 

They didn’t sound so bad to Fleebleblop. ‘Is the zoo really that bad?’ 


	6. Chapter Six

By this time the three of them were getting hungry, and Alice realised that keeping Fleebleblop hidden was only half of the problem. They would have to feed him, too, and both her mum and Benny’s were likely to notice if too much food disappeared from their kitchens. 

‘What do Martians eat?’ she asked, peering at the contents of the fridge. 

‘Gumbleflaps are my favourite, but pobblejums would be nice too!’

They ended up with Vegemite sandwiches. Fleebleblop said Vegemite tasted like ambiliplums, which were a highly poisonous root vegetable. ‘I’m glad this won’t kill me!’ he said through a mouthful. ‘It won’t, right?’

‘Of course not,’ Benny said, spraying his friends with crumbs. 

‘Now, we need ideas,’ Alice said firmly when they’d all finished eating. ‘Benny, clean up here while we talk. I need to concentrate.’ 

‘I’m going to use the water-filled pooping-chair first,’ Fleebleblop announced excitedly. ‘Do you want to watch?’ 

Benny nearly said yes, before catching Alice’s eye. ‘Um. I guess not.’ 

‘Benny, does your cousin still have that cubby house?’ Benny’s uncle Sam had built an incredible cubby for her daughter in their backyard a year or two ago, and most of the neighbourhood kids had spent a night or two camping in it. 

‘Yeah, she practically lives in it.’

‘Can you keep her out of it for two days?’

Benny snorted. ‘Not without chaining her to something.’

‘I think it’s our best option. We need to come up with a way to keep her out of it.’

‘We could just tell her about Fleebleblop,’ Benny suggested. ‘Jade’s no snitch.’

Alice nodded, thinking about it. ‘Maybe. But we’ve got a more immediate problem…’ 

By the time the end-of-day bell rang at school, Benny had found a spare school uniform for Fleebleblop - it was a bit big on him, but it would do - and the three of them were lurking outside Mrs Baker’s classroom, ready to mingle with their classmates in the chaos of leaving. Fleebleblop, for now, was playing the role of a new student whose parents were working, so Benny had kindly volunteered to take him home for the afternoon. Alice was a bit worried that Benny’s parents might be suspicious of him being generous and helpful without prompting, but perhaps, if pressed, he could ‘admit’ that Mrs Baker had asked him specifically. That seemed even less likely, but it was the best they could come up with. 

The bell rang right on time, and dozens of identically-uniformed kids poured from classrooms. Alice, Benny, and Fleebleblop had no trouble adding themselves to the stream of mini humanity and heading to the gates to be collected by their families. 


	7. Chapter Seven

Benny’s dad collected him that day. He’d left work early, as he often did on Fridays. Adrian was an accountant, and often told people that it was more interesting than it sounded. It wasn’t. 

‘Dad, this is Fred, he’s new in town and his parents are working, is it okay if he comes to our place for a couple of hours?’ 

Fleelbeblop beamed widely, but remembering his strict instructions from Alice, he said nothing. Adrian couldn’t help smiling in return. Fleebleblop had that kind of smile. 

‘Sure. We’re having pizza. You like pizza, Fred?’

Fleebleblop stuck to his vow of silence, and nodded furiously, still beaming, despite having no idea what he was meant to like a piece  _ of _ , exactly. 

‘Not a big talker, huh?’

Fleebleblop looked desperately at Benny, who only shrugged. He looked back at Adrian and mimicked Benny’s shrug. Adrian grinned, shrugged, and turned to walk the boys home. 

‘He’ll talk about poop and toilets all day,’ Benny muttered behind his father’s back, ‘but ask if he likes pizza…’ he rolled his eyes. He turned to wave at Alice, who had been picked up by her grandmother. She mouthed  _ good luck _ over her shoulder as they each went their separate ways. 

‘So where did you live before this?’ Adrian asked with the usual adult clueless politeness towards children. 

Fleebleblop almost forgot his promise to Alice, and began, ‘Ma…’ 

‘Marysville!’ Benny interrupted. He’d been there once to visit some old friend of his mum’s. The adults raved about the scenery, but Benny thought it was boring. 

‘Oh, that’s a pretty spot,’ Adrian said, predictably. Fleebleblop just nodded and beamed some more. 

Back at Benny’s house, Fleebleblop met his mother and his dog. Pets were unknown on Mars, and he almost burst with excitement without being able to speak. The dog licked his face, and he licked it back. Adrian looked at him a little strangely, but let it pass. 

But he couldn’t hold his tongue in the face of pizza. ‘This is the best thing I’ve ever tasted,’ he told the family. ‘Plus you can ask for another  _ piece of pizza _ , and the phrases sound the same! Food is so much fun on Earth!’

‘On Earth?’ Benny’s mum, Benita, said, confused. 

‘He likes to pretend he’s from Mars,’ Benny explained quickly. 

Benita and Adrian smiled. Kids, eh? 

After dinner, phase two of Alice’s plan was activated. Benny told his parents he would walk Fleebleblop - Fred - ‘home’. In reality, he took the alien boy to his uncle Sam’s house. Living in a small town was boring, but at least everybody was close by. 

‘Hide in the bushes there,’ Benny told Fleebleblop, before knocking on his uncle’s door. ‘Don’t speak or move or poop until I call.’

‘But I think I need to…’

‘No!’

Benny knocked, and was relieved when it was his cousin Jade who opened the door. ‘Hey Benny-boy,’ she said. ‘What’s up?’ 

He took a deep breath. ‘This is weird and you’ll think I’m nuts, but I need a favour.’ 

‘For my favourite cousin? Why not.’

‘I’m your  _ only  _ cousin.’

‘So you  _ have _ to be my favourite.’

‘Okay, so anyway -’ Benny turned to the bushes where Fleebleblop was hiding and motioned for him to come out - ‘this is Fleebleblop.’

‘He’s what?’

‘Part of the favour is not asking too many questions,’ Benny told her. He felt like it was something Alice might say. 

She sighed, but nodded, and let Benny explain the situation. She began with the politely interested face adults use when kids tell them stories, but it wasn’t long before she was looking completely bamboozled. ‘A kid from Mars who poops through his finger. Seriously, Benny?’ 

Fleebleblop felt that it was the right moment for a demonstration. He’d been needing to anyway, after the pizza. He held up a finger. 


	8. Chapter Eight

Jade was less than keen on giving up her cubby house, but being a full year older and wiser than Benny, she eventually saw the necessity for it. She shared Benny’s belief that living with the penguins wouldn’t be so bad, really, but had to admit that freedom was probably better. The grown ups must never find out about Fleebleblop, and it was her duty as an under-18 to let him sleep in her cubby. 

Benny’s uncle Sam was a builder by trade, and the cubby was as snug and safe as any real house. On an inflatable mattress, in a sleeping bag, Fleebleblop was more comfortable than he’d ever been. But he still had trouble sleeping. It had been a day full of new experiences and new people. They’d mostly been good, and he’d had fun, but the unfamiliar can be unsettling no matter how much fun one has. His natural good humour had been prevalent all day, with friendly people around, but some anxiety made itself known while he lay alone in the dark. He was a long way from Mars.

It felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, when he heard something outside. There was a long wailing sound, and something scratching at the wooden door. Fleebleblop sat up, hearts racing. He had three, and they were all telling him to be scared. But he reminded himself that Benny or Jade would have told him if there was anything dangerous around here. He took a few deep breaths, and went to the door. There was a small gap between the door and frame, and he put his eye to it and looked out. 

What he saw was surprisingly small, for the noise it had made. It was black, furry, and had a long tail that waved gently behind it. It seemed to detect Fleebleblop’s presence at the door, and looked up. It made the wailing noise again. 

Fleebleblop gathered his considerable courage, and opened the door. The creature slipped inside immediately, through a gap the alien boy would not have thought wide enough for it. 

‘Hello,’ he said, feeling a little silly. The animal glanced at him, then stretched and made itself comfortable on his mattress. It started making a different noise, a deep vibrating sound. And then, apparently, it fell fast asleep. 

‘Did you just want a comfortable bed?’ Fleebleblop asked the sleeping creature. ‘Me too. I suppose we can share.’ He still had some apprehension about lying next to an unknown animal - was it a penguin, or a chimpanzee, he wondered - but it was small and sleeping, and he thought it could hardly be much of a threat. He carefully lay down beside it. It’s warmth and purr lulled him to sleep in minutes. 


	9. Chapter Nine

He woke in the morning to the sound of people talking outside the cubby. The small animal was gone, although a warm spot remained. Fleebleblop opened the door to see Alice, Benny, and Jade sitting on the ground. Benny had promised that somebody would be there in the morning, but seeing all three of them was heartwarming for a boy so far from home and everything familiar.

‘Good morning!’ he said, and all three turned to face him, smiling. Well, Jade looked a bit annoyed, but she was trying. 

‘Did you sleep okay in there?’ Alice asked. She had spent a few nights in there herself, and knew it was very cozy and comfortable, but she couldn’t help worrying. 

‘There was a little black animal who insisted on sleeping with me. But it ignored me,’ Fleebleblop told her. 

Jade giggled. ‘That’s Muppet. She’s a cat.’

‘Cat.’ Fleebleblop tried out the word. ‘What does it do? Is it tasty?’ Martians don’t have pets. 

‘Probably,’ Benny said, ‘but we don’t eat cats. They’re too cute.’

Alice had a niggling feeling that there was more to it than that, but she let it pass. ‘It’s Saturday, that’s a day off school,’ she told Fleebleblop, ‘so we can just about do anything. Do you want to go to the playground?’

‘The ground plays?’ Fleelbeblop asked. ‘What games does it play?’

‘No,’ Jade explained, ‘a playground is a place you go to play.’

There were four playgrounds in town, but only one had swings, and Alice insisted on swings. They were her favourite, and she thought Fleebleblop would like them too. They were halfway there when Fleebleblop touched her shoulder for attention, and looked at her guiltily. ‘I need to… you know…’ He was beginning to learn that, on Earth, pooping wasn’t done in public, or talked about much. But he wished he could just point and let it go. 

Alice looked at the hand he’d touched her with. ‘It’s the  _ other _ hand, right?’ 

He said it was; apparently on Mars it was the height of rudeness to touch someone with the hand that needed to poop. 

‘Well, there are toilets at the playground. You can wait five minutes, right?’ Alice knew that most girls eventually ended up sounding like their mothers, but she hadn’t expected it quite so soon. 

‘I think so,’ Fleelbeblop said, although he wasn’t sure how long a minute on Earth was. He could probably wait three Mars minutes. 

It was a warm sunny day, and it seemed like half the neighbourhood kids were out and about. The four of them were just another group heading to a playground, except that Fleebleblop was holding his finger with a worried expression. 

‘Hey Alice!’ a kid called, passing by. He was the one who’d ratted out Fleebleblop in class. ‘How’s your weird cousin?’ he laughed, then spotted Fleebleblop in the group. ‘How’d you do that poop trick, that was brilliant, Mrs Baker was so mad!’ 

‘Alice…’ the alien boy said, looking meaningfully at his finger. ‘I can’t wait anymore.’ Alice groaned, as Fleebleblop pointed the finger at the other boy. ‘And it isn’t a trick,’ he said. The tip opened up, and Benny had a brainwave. He pushed the alien forwards, so that he was standing right in front of the bratty boy from class. The poop landed right on the boy’s shoe. 

‘Now, run!’ The three humans raced away from the scene of the crime, Fleebleblop cartwheeling after them. 


	10. Chapter Ten

They arrived at the playground puffing and giggling. 

‘Did you see the look on his face?’ Benny crowed.

‘Classic!’ Jade exclaimed. 

‘We’re going to get in so much trouble,’ Alice said, for what felt like the hundredth time recently, but she was giggling while she said it this time. Fleebleblop didn’t bother asking where it was, this time. He was already losing interest in the prank of a whole minute ago, and was captivated by the play equipment and the possibility of future fun. 

‘Which thing is the swing?’ he asked.

It turned out that swinging, being pushed as high as Benny could manage, was  _ terrifying _ . ‘Benny, you know what happens when I get nervous!’ Fleebleblop yelled from the zenith. 

‘Knock yourself out,’ Benny called back, laughing. 

‘That sounds painful!’ 

Benny took a few steps back as poop began to rain from the sky, flying in wide arcs as Fleebleblop swung back and forth. 

‘You said this was fun!’ the alien wailed at Alice. Fortunately for him, with Benny seeking cover from the poop rain, the swing was slowing down, and Fleebleblop jumped off awkwardly. ‘I am never doing that again. That was worse than teleporting.’ His legs shook, and Alice felt bad for laughing. But not bad enough to stop. 

‘Try the monkey bars,’ Jade suggested, dangling upside down. 

Fleebleblop peered at her, twisting his head to try to make her look right. ‘I can see the bars, but where are the monkeys?’

‘We’re the monkeys! Come on!’

Fleebleblop liked the monkey bars a lot more than the swing. He was strong and nimble, and had excellent balance. 

‘It must be all the cartwheeling,’ Alice guessed. She vowed to practice her own cartwheeling, as the alien swung past her. 

‘I’m hungry,’ Benny announced. ‘We should go to my place and grab some lunch.’

‘Can we have pizza again?’ Fleebleblop asked enthusiastically. ‘A piece of pizza!’ Such a fun phrase to say. 

‘There’s none left. We’ll make sandwiches or something.’

‘Vegemite!’ cheered Fleebleblop. Earth food was incredible. 

‘What will we tell your parents this time?’ Alice asked. ‘Do Fred’s parents work on weekends?’

‘We’ll go to my place, and have a picnic in the cubby,’ Jade decided. ‘Nobody will notice or care how much food we take. Picnics are like that.’ 

‘Who is Nick?’ Fleebleblop asked. ‘What are we choosing him for? Will he make the sandwiches?’ 


	11. Chapter Eleven

Fleebleblop waited with Alice in the cubby, while Jade and Benny raided the kitchen. Muppet, the black cat, reappeared and jumped straight onto Fleebleblop’s lap, making him jump. 

‘What do I do with it?’ he asked. 

‘You pat her,’ Alice said, demonstrating. ‘But be careful, if you touch her tummy she’ll probably scratch you.’

Fleelbeblop wasn’t sure why that should worry him. The creature was tiny and fluffy and very cute. It certainly couldn’t do him any damage. But Earth was strange and unpredictable, so he avoided the cat’s tummy anyway. Muppet purred under his touch, and Alice reassured him that was normal. ‘It means she’s happy.’ 

‘I’m happy too,’ Fleebleblop announced, beaming, and began making his own purring noises. 

Jade and Benny appeared in the doorway, each carrying a wicker basket filled to overflowing. Dad’s been baking,’ Jade explained. ‘There’s a cake and some muffins and fresh bread. But mum made me grab some fruit, too, so we’ve got strawberries and apples and some other stuff.’ 

‘Vegemite?’ Fleebelblop asked. 

Benny grinned. ‘I made a Vegemite sandwich just for you.’

The four of them attacked the piles of food with gusto, and before long there was little but crumbs left. Fleebleblop exclaimed over every new thing, finding blueberries particularly to his liking. Finally, as Alice set aside the last muffin, too full to finish it, a strange bell-like sound filled the cubby. 

‘What’s that?’ Benny and Alice asked simultaneously. 

‘That’s my teleporter, it’s recharged!’ said Fleebleblop. He showed them the watch-like device strapped to his arm. ‘I can go home!’ 

Alice felt a confusing mix of sadness and relief. Trying to keep Fleebleblop safe and hidden was stressful, but he’d certainly made life interesting. ‘Do you have to go right now?’ she asked. 

‘I should,’ he said regretfully. ‘It’s been fun here, and you guys are weird, but I miss home too.’

Alice nodded, accepting ‘weird’ as a compliment. ‘Well, it’s been fun. And weird.’ 

‘We’ll miss you,’ Benny said, surprising Alice, who’d never heard him express emotion beyond hunger or boredom. 

‘You can come and visit me next time!’ 

‘We don’t have teleporters,’ Jade pointed out. 

‘I’ll send you some,’ Fleebleblop promised. ‘Can I take some blueberries?’

‘No, you’ve already eaten them all.’

‘Oh well. Off I go, then!’ Fleebleblop stood up. He hugged Jade first, who returned the favour with some confusion. Then it was Benny’s turn. And finally Alice. Alice blinked back tears, trying to show her new friend a happy face when she pulled away from his hug.

The alien boy beamed at all his new friends, and pressed a button on his teleporter. A sphere of purple light grew from it, growing until it was as big as Fleebleblop himself. ‘Thank you all, I’ll miss you!’ he called, as he cartwheeled into the light. And, with a pop, the alien and the light vanished completely. 

Alice, Benny, and Jade sat in silence for a moment, just looking at each other. 

‘Nobody’s ever going to believe this,’ Jade said finally. 

‘That’s okay,’ said Alice. ‘We’ll know.’


End file.
